You may be excited to spend time with your four-year-old because they’re just so darn fun! Whether you’re doing art projects together, playing age-appropriate games, or enjoying outdoor pastimes like catch, you’ve noticed how active, chatty, and interested in the world your four-year-old is.
Early Childhood Development: Your 4 Year Old Preschooler and What to Expect
Vocabulary Development
You may have noticed that your child loves to talk! Some children are naturally chatty and enjoy having back-and-forth conversations or telling stories.(1) You might find your conversations are getting more interesting (and funny!) as well, as on average, a four-year-old will know roughly 1,500 words!(6) Your exchanges may include longer, more complicated and varied phrases, which is fun for both of you!
Motor Skills Development
As your child is growing, their motor skills are improving, so they can be more active than ever. Running, jumping and climbing might be favorite things to do at the playground or park! You may notice they’re using their hands when they talk, gesturing, or making noises to express themselves.(5) Skills like walking down steps, kicking a ball, playing catch, balancing on one foot, running and jumping have become easier.(5) Their fine motor skills, like cutting (with child-safe scissors) and writing their name, are also improving.(5)
Growing Curiosity About the Body
Your child is also likely asking endless questions, some which may make you uncomfortable. It’s normal and common for preschoolers to ask questions like, “Where do babies come from?” or ask about and touch their genital area.(1) Playing doctor with other children their age where they look at each other’s genitals might seem alarming to parents, but it’s developmentally normal.(1) (This should not happen with older children.) Facilitate your child’s learning in an age-appropriate way, like with a book on the body that’s written for pre-schoolers.(1)
As for tough questions about the body or topics you might deem inappropriate (like how babies are made), it’s important you answer their questions calmly and matter-of-factly.(1)
Early Childhood Development: 4-Year-Old Milestones
Social/Emotional Checklist(3)
Offers comfort when someone is sad or hurt
Enjoys being a “helper”
Wants to please and be like his or her friends(4)
Knows how to modify their behavior based on the situation (uses their “inside voice” in a place of worship or library, for example)
May be eagerly cooperative at times and demanding at other times(4)
Avoids danger
Asks to play with other children
Plays pretend
Has developed a sense of their gender identity(1)
Language/Communication Checklist(3)
Can answer simple questions such as “What is a lunch box for?”
Will share at least one thing that happened during the day such as, “I played with Jeremy”
Can string together a sentence of four or more words
Has back-and-forth conversations(2)
When they talk, a stranger can understand what they’re saying (most of the time)
Can sing along to a few words of a song, or memorize and recite a few words of a story or rhyme (2)
Knows between 1000 to 2000 words(2)
Movement and Physical Development Checklist(3)
Is able to hold a pencil or crayon between finger and thumb as opposed to a fist
Prints some letters(4)
Can copy geometric patterns, such as a triangle(4)
Can serve himself some food or water with adult supervision
Is able to unbutton some buttons on clothing and catch a large ball the majority of the time
Swings, climbs, hops, somersaults, and can stand on one foot for 10 seconds or longer(4)
Cognitive Checklist(3)
Follows multi-step directions (for example, when instructed, is able to pick up their toys, put them away in their toy bin, and pick out a book to read together)(2)
Can draw a person with three or more body parts
Is able to identify colors, shapes, numbers, and letters (2)
Can count to ten(4)
Can recall big parts of a simple story they’re told or read(2)
Knows what comes next in a story they know well
Can make predictions about what comes next in an unfamiliar story(2)
Is beginning to understand the concept of time(2)
Has a vivid imagination(2)
What You Can Do to Encourage Healthy Development in Your 4-Year-Old
Make Time for Play
Preschoolers learn so much through fun and games. Check out this blog post on the different types of play in early childhood and how they encourage your preschooler’s development! Play deprivation in early childhood has been linked to depression, reduced self-control, shallower and more fragile relationships, a propensity for addiction, and difficulty adapting to change later in life.(7) I can’t stress enough how vital play is to your child’s well being! Making time for arts and crafts, dress-up, dancing, imaginary play or outdoor play has tremendous benefits for your child.
Be Active Together
Preschoolers should spend at least 3 hours a day doing some kind of physical activity.(8) Yes, three hours! It may sound like a lot, but your four-year-old needs to burn all their pent up energy and grow their muscle strength! Playing on the playground, running in the backyard or at the park, or playing children’s games like “Duck, Duck, Goose” are great ways to bond with your child and help them (and you!) be active.
Know When to React Neutrally
Is your preschooler talking about having a “boyfriend” or a “girlfriend” at school? This might seem alarming to parents, but it’s developmentally normal.(1) Preschoolers don’t attach the same meaning to “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” that adults do, so it’s best to react to these types of declarations in a neutral way (not encouraging it but not showing concern, either).
Remember Their Development Stage
There are many wonderful things about preschoolers. But they can also be demanding, selfish, moody, and try your patience (regularly!). Remember that you’re not alone if your child exerts independence in ways that are frustrating, fights with siblings, has difficult habits (like food refusal) or behaves aggressively toward family members when they’re being moody.(9)
Every Stage Comes With Joys and Challenges
Each step of the way, you have the opportunity to help your child learn and grow. Subscribe to my newsletter for more helpful parenting tips, and don’t miss the other blogs in the infant and early childhood development series!
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