School breaks can be a time that students look forward to for weeks. Maybe it means a vacation or special trip to see family. Maybe they just look forward to getting to sleep in, stay home, and relax.
Sometimes, though, all the extra time spent together can put strain on the relationship between you and your child. Setting healthy boundaries can help keep the break fun and enjoyable for everyone.
If you’re thinking, “I know that setting boundaries would be great, but I just don’t know how to get started.” Don’t worry! I’ve outlined four steps to help you through the process and included four more tips to help make your child’s upcoming school break a success.
Acknowledge the Adjustment Period
Before we get into the four steps, it’s important to acknowledge that there will be an adjustment period when your child is home full time instead of at school. The length and intensity to with which this adjustment period is experienced will vary from child to child.
If your child struggles with an anxiety disorder or another mental health issue, they will likely have more difficulty with the change in their routine. To read more tips about raising an anxious child, check out my article here.
For most children, the adjustment period will be quick, or you may not even notice it at all. If your child seems to be quite anxious, though, try to ask questions that help you understand where the anxiety is stemming from. These questions could be, “Are you missing someone or something at school?” or “Is something at home making you feel uncomfortable?”
How to Establish Rules and Boundaries
1. Start the Conversation When Everyone Is Calm and Happy
It is best to have a conversation about rules and boundaries before they are necessary or need to be in place. Children are more likely to see the logic in rules if they are not upset or angry. They will be thinking clearly and can ask any questions they may have. They can also formulate their opinions on the rule and share those thoughts in a more constructive way when they are calm.
2. Explain Expectations and Consequences Thoroughly
Walk through the rules (bonus points if they are written out) and the consequences. Give examples of when the rule would apply. For example, the rule might be that everyone stays in their own room until 7 a.m. Explain that your child may wake up early, and that’s okay, but they need to stay in their room until the designated time. Then give them alternate activities that don’t break the rule. They can read, play quietly, or color in their room instead of coming out into the common areas.
If you have written the rules out, hang them up in a place that they can easily be referred to. When you are redirecting your child’s behavior, it can be helpful to be able to give your child a visual reminder as well as a verbal one.
3. Provide the “Why”
Children are much more likely to follow rules if they understand why the rule is in place. An example using our rule from before would be explaining that we stay in our rooms until 7 a.m. because it allows everyone time to sleep and wake up rested and in a good mood. Another example might be explaining that we don’t run through the house loudly because mom and dad still have work to get done.
4. Follow Through
While it’s not fun to follow through with consequences on a vacation or during fun days at home, it’s important to stick to the rules that you laid out. Remember that addressing a behavior will help to prevent it in the future. If it is not addressed, it may continue to happen and could continue to put a damper on the break.
4 Tips to Help Make Your Time with Your Children During a School Break Fun and Memorable!
1. Develop a Structure or Routine for the Day
Children thrive when they have a schedule and routine. Especially children with ADHD, anxiety, and autism spectrum disorder need structure in order to feel secure and stable.(4)
The schedule does not have to be overly rigid, meaning it doesn’t have to be a minute-by-minute plan. Have a time set to wake up and an order for activities such as outside time and crafts. Plan meals and snacks to be eaten at times similar to when they would be at school. Now, this schedule doesn’t have to be set in stone. Certain days, what you are doing will make it difficult to stay right on schedule. But the closer you stick to the schedule, the easier and quicker it will be for your child to adjust.
2. Plan Activities Ahead of Time
Fun activities are much less stressful for everyone involved if there is a plan. A spontaneous trip to the zoo or to the water park that’s an hour-long drive away can sound daunting to even the most seasoned parent.
Planning out the logistics and who’s responsible for what can make big activities feel more manageable. Time spent planning allows everyone to enjoy the activity more.
3. Prioritize Social Interactions
Your children may miss the everyday interaction they usually have with their peers. Planning out time for them to see their friends or other children their own age can help fill their social needs. If it’s difficult to coordinate with their friends, you could also look for story times at your local library or other activities happening in your community.
4. Seek Out Support
Remember that you don’t have to do it alone! Support may look like enlisting the help of grandparents or paying for a babysitter to come give you a break for a few hours. There’s no shame in needing a bit of time to regroup and take care of yourself.
Did you know that my Genius Little Minds podcast dives into childhood mental health? You can check out the latest episode here.
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