The new year can feel like a wonderful new start. It’s a chance to reevaluate our goals and lifestyles. We can consider changes that we want to make to better ourselves and make a plan to bring those changes to fruition.

Many people set New Year’s resolutions, adults and children alike. Maybe you’ve decided that you want to set new goals this year with your kids but you aren’t quite sure how to do that well. This article will outline some strategies to set your family up for success and include ideas on what resolutions may be good for your kids.

7 Good Principles to Follow

Along with the tradition of setting New Year’s resolutions comes the common problem of those goals falling by the wayside after a couple of months (or even just a few weeks). So how can you avoid the pitfalls of goal setting and not give up too early? Here are 7 tips.

Make It a Big Deal

Don’t make the conversation of setting goals as casual as the question of what to eat for dinner tonight or when you should go to the grocery store. Make it an important discussion. Set a specific time in a certain spot that all of your family will gather to chat. Put the screens and other distractions away and focus on the task at hand.

Talk About Different Types of Goals

New Year’s resolutions don’t have to be just one goal. Your family can set different types of goals, such as long-term and short-term goals. You can also discuss individual goals that everyone is setting and family goals that you all want to work towards together.

Keep It Fun

If your child thinks that this is a fun activity, they are more likely to want to follow through with their goals. Consider setting the goals in a ‘bucket list’ format. Or let them color and create charts to remember and track their goals.

Ensure the Goals Are Healthy and Realistic

Sometimes a child might want to set an unachievable goal like being the best basketball player in the world.(1) Or maybe they just want to be the best basketball player in their school. Either way, both the measurement and achievability of these goals is not ideal. Suggest instead ‘I will work on my basketball skills for 20 minutes every day.’

They also may try to set goals that are beyond their control. An example of this would be becoming friends with every child in their class. While this is a great goal and they can be kind to everyone in their class, they can’t make another child be friends with them. Help them reframe this goal with something like ‘I will be kind to a new person every day.’

Split the Goal into Small, Manageable Steps

Big goals can be good, but they can also be overwhelming. If your child has a goal that is realistic but big, help them split it into smaller steps. Children are often still learning this skill and may need your assistance in seeing how to break apart a task.

Set Specific Goals

Make sure the goal or the small steps that your child is taking to achieve the goal are specific.(2) For example, you don’t want to set a goal as vague as ‘do better in school’. Instead, set the goal as ‘I will do homework before playing outside’ or ‘I will spend 20 minutes a day reading an educational book.’

Frame Failure as a Learning Experience

Just like our goals and plans, our children’s resolutions will likely not go exactly as they want them to. There may be days that they’re sick, busy, or just feeling discouraged and unable to meet their goal that day.

Let them know that this is okay. Each day is a new chance to work towards our goals. Help them process their feelings related to not achieving their goals. Avoid minimizing the way that they feel. Then, talk through ways that they can improve in the future.

Goal Setting Ideas

I will work on the math facts for 5 minutes every day.
I will pick up my room at the end of each day.
I will eat one fruit and one vegetable with every meal.
I will take one bite of new foods that are offered to me.
I will play outside for 30 minutes every day when it is sunny out.
I will do my best on every homework assignment that is sent home.
I will help my mom cook dinner on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
When I start to feel mad, I will use a coping method instead of getting upset.
I will give my little sister art lessons once a week.
I will brush my teeth every morning and every night.
I will start a new hobby like soccer. I will practice it for 10 minutes every day.
I will do one act of kindness every day.
I will be friends with other students when I see them by themselves on the playground.
I will draw a picture and deliver it to a new neighbor each week.
I will volunteer at the nursing home once a week.
I will communicate how I’m feeling with my parents when I feel sad.
I will ask for help when I start to feel frustrated.
I will read a new book for 10 minutes each day.

These are just some ideas to get you started.(3) Your child can tweak them based on their interests and desires. If your child is younger, you can tweak these to fit your child and then present them as options.

Good skills and habits will help our children become productive adults. Having the discipline to continue with a good habit even when they don’t really want to will help them to be successful in their school years and beyond. Setting healthy goals this New Year is a great way to begin laying the foundation for healthy goal setting throughout their lifetime.

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