Children can feel stress around the holidays for a variety of reasons. The number of people at the gatherings may make them uncomfortable. Or the change in routine may give them anxiety. They feel unsure of what to expect and that in turn makes them feel stressed.
You may not even know exactly what about the holidays seems to trigger your child. You just know that this time of year is difficult for them, and you want to help in any way you can.
Here are some tips to help make this holiday as smooth and enjoyable as possible.
First, Make Sure That You Are Taking Care of Yourself
Calm, like stress, is contagious. Whatever you are feeling, your children are going to be feeling too. So be sure to preemptively take some time to yourself this holiday season.(1) Spend a few minutes a few days doing something relaxing that you enjoy like reading a book or going for a walk.
When you start to feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath and remember that you are setting the example for how you want your children to respond when they are stressed. If you’re in the same room as your kids when something goes awry, talk through your feelings and coping mechanisms out loud so that they can witness how you work through them.
When you take good care of yourself, you are better able to take care of others.
Keep the Routine as Similar as Possible
While the holidays usually mean special meals, family gatherings, and fun events, try to keep the routine as similar as possible to normal.(3) Their day-to-day activities will be different but stick to their sleep schedule and nap schedule as closely as you can. Plan activities around those times or set up a sleeping space where you are visiting. Overtired children are less emotionally regulated and will only feel worse as they get more and more tired.
If you know that your child struggles with transitions and changes to the routine, prep them ahead of time. Let them know what is going to happen and what to expect. While this may not prevent all issues, it will likely be helpful. You can also try keeping similar things in their routine like bringing their favorite meal along with you wherever you’re going or letting them bring a favorite stuffed animal.
Manage Expectations
Know that, with children, nothing is going to go 100% smoothly. That’s okay. The holidays can still be a fun time with a few bumps in the road.
Have realistic expectations for your children and the event will help everyone feel better. If your expectations are too high, you will only feel disappointed. Plan ahead by taking an extra pair of clothes and a few snacks and know that everyone will have fun even if a few things go wrong.
Keep Your Kids Active
Kids have a ton of energy; we all know this. When they’re cooped up in a car or a dinner chair for too long, they’re more likely to start acting out. This is most often because they just need something to do to get out all the energy that is inside of them.
Encourage them to get outside and play if the weather where you live allows them to. If that’s not possible, you can try setting up an obstacle course indoors or encouraging them to do jumping jacks. Anything that gets their body moving will help them get out that energy.
Spend Quality Time Together with Your Family
Big get-togethers with aunts, cousins, and great-grandparents can be a lot of fun. However, they can also be very stimulating to some children and adults. For these individuals, the event will likely leave them feeling drained.
Try to block out time that will just be spent with your immediate family or close friends.(2) Discuss with your children some family traditions that you would like to start doing. Especially for children that really like routine, they may also really like having yearly traditions.
Do Something As a Family That Helps Others
In a season that’s often filled with gifts, it’s important to also emphasize to our children the importance of giving back to others. Consider volunteering at your local food bank or animal shelter. Or you can bake sweet treats for your local nursing home or neighbors.
There are so many options for charities that need donations around the holiday season. You could also encourage your children to earn money to donate to these causes.
Avoid overscheduling
It’s easy to run from one event to the next during this season. There are so many people to see and so much fun to be had. However, there can be too much of a good thing.
Try to create enough space in your schedule so that you don’t feel like you’re always running late for the next thing. This stress will also be felt by your children, and coupled with the normal stress of the holidays, it can quickly become overwhelming.(4)
Schedule Quiet Time
Avoiding overscheduling is a great first step, but you can take it even further by prioritizing quiet or rest time. Everybody needs time to decompress and recoup after big events. Especially on days when the schedule is full, schedule time in the middle of the day for your children to rest.
This time will give them the chance to emotionally reset and be in a better mood for evening activities.
All of these tips will make this holiday season one that everyone in your house will enjoy. Just remember that it doesn’t need to be perfect; it just needs time spent with the people that you love most. Adapt your schedule and events to meet your kids’ needs, and it will all be okay.
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