Infant Attachment: Understanding Your Baby’s Needs, Emotions, and Behavior

“He’s a mama’s boy.” 

“She just loves her Nana.”

“She is attached to her daddy’s side as soon as he’s home.”

I’m sure you’ve heard parents say each of these phrases. Some just think we’re talking about a baby’s favorite person. But in psychology, those statements are talking about attachment. Attachment is the bond and relationship between infants and their caregivers. Positive attachment is absolutely essential to healthy development in infants and children. 

But what exactly are attachment styles and how can you foster healthy attachment in your baby? Read on to find out!

Attachment Theory

Modern ideas on attachment have been shaped by many psychologists. But most of today’s ideas on attachment were developed by John Bowlby in the 1980s and 1990s (3)(4). Bowlby challenged the popular thoughts of his day that attachment was only related to feeding. Whoever fed the baby could soothe the baby. Bowlby just didn’t think that was true.

So, he dove deeper into what builds attachment. He found that meeting all of an infant’s needs is what grew attachment. This means their need for sleep, comfort, stimulation, and feeding. 

Stages of Infant Attachment

Bowlby’s theory on attachment outlines four main stages that infants should progress through (5). 

From birth to six weeks, infants show little preference for a specific caregiver. 

From six weeks to seven months, infants should show a preference for primary and secondary caregivers. This can be mom, dad, grandma, babysitters, or daycare providers. Anyone that regularly cares for the baby can be a primary or secondary caregiver. 

Around 7 months, most babies go through separation anxiety. They will often cry and be difficult to soothe if they are separated from their primary caregiver. An infant’s primary caregiver is most often the mother, but it can be whoever takes care of the baby most often. 

Most babies grow out of separation anxiety on their own. From 10 months on, infants and toddlers grow their relationships and attachments to a variety of caregivers. 

Learning about what stage your child is in is helpful in being able to recognize why they behave the way that they do. It can also be beneficial to understand attachment styles to further grasp how infant attachment affects behavior.

Attachment Styles

Bowlby’s work was expanded on by Mary Ainsworth, Main, and Solomon to outline four attachment styles, or ways that an infant can be positively or negatively attached to their caregivers (1)(8). 

1. Ambivalent Attachment

2. Avoidant Attachment

3. Disorganized Attachment

4. Secure Attachment 
   

A baby’s only way to communicate is through crying. How a caregiver responds to their cry is what determines what attachment style a baby has. Does a caregiver consistently come to meet their needs in a loving, compassionate way?

As their names would suggest, ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles are the types you want to avoid. Infants with ambivalent attachment are inconsolable when separated from their primary caregiver but then show anger when reunited. 

Avoidant attachment is shown by infants having no preference for any caregivers. They have no response to being separated from or reunited with their caregiver. 

Infants with disorganized attachment show a mix of both avoidant and ambivalent attachment. 

These attachment styles are often developed when a child is neglected or abused. A lack of response to their needs or even punishment for relying on a caregiver can result in an ambivalent or avoidant attachment. An association between care and pain can be a dangerous one for children’s mental health. Children with a revolving door of caregivers often develop a disorganized attachment style. 

When a baby is securely attached, they look to their primary caregiver and know that they will be safe and taken care of. Time after time of receiving quick, loving care reinforces their sense of safety. They develop trust in their caregiver. And this trust gives them the confidence to explore the world around them. 

Securely attached babies may cry when separated from their primary caregiver but are able to adjust relatively quickly to their situation. When reunited with their primary caregiver, they show joy and excitement. 

Why Is a Secure Attachment so Important?

Secure attachment has been linked in study after study to positive outcomes throughout childhood and later in life (2)(5)(7). These positive outcomes include:

●      Increased grey matter in the brain (7)

●      Higher quality social and romantic relationships (9)

●      Better performance in school

●      Stronger self-esteem and self-reliance (5)

●      Lower rates of depression and anxiety 

Infant attachment also has a ripple effect as the child grows, becomes an adult, and has their own child. Adults that were securely attached as infants are better equipped to respond well to their babies, thus building a secure attachment in their babies. 

It’s easy to see how attachment styles can be generational, whether good or bad. 

Unfortunately, there’s an array of negative outcomes that are seen when infants have no single caregiver to become attached to, such as in an adoption scenario, or when they have an ambivalent, avoidant, or disorganized attachment style. So much of a person’s identity is shaped by the relationships they experience in those first years of life.

Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), conduct disorder (CD), or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are often seen in children that were negatively attached as an infant. 

How to Create a Secure Attachment in Your Baby

Don’t worry! It’s not a complicated 27-step process. It doesn’t take fancy training or special toys. 

The most important thing for secure attachment is responding to your baby.

When your baby cries, you respond by looking for their source of discomfort. Does their diaper need change? When did they have a bottle last? Are they too warm or too cold? 

In a new or stressful situation, you are your baby’s safe space. You protect them and provide comfort. 

Responding to your baby doesn’t just mean going to them when they cry (though, that’s really important!). It also means mirroring them: giggling when they giggle, clapping when they clap, and repeating their newest sound with them over and over. 

You probably do it every day, all day long. Playing, interacting, and taking care of your baby. You’re building a secure attachment. 

The relationship between you and your baby is one that requires work just like any other relationship in your life. So nurture it; enjoy it. And know that you are setting your baby up for success throughout their life! 

For more tidbits of infant development and parenting, check out my website here!

References

1. Ainsworth MD, Bell SM. Attachment, exploration, and separation: Illustrated by the behavior of one-year-olds in a strange situation. Child Dev. 1970;41(1):49-67. doi:10.2307/1127388

2. Benoit D. (2004). Infant-parent attachment: Definition, types, antecedents, measurement and outcome. Paediatrics & child health, 9(8), 541–545. https://doi.org/10.1093/pch/9.8.541

3. Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss. (OKS Print.) New York: Basic Books.

4. Bowlby J. Attachment and loss: Retrospect and prospect. Am J Orthopsychiatry. 1982;52(4):664-678. doi:10.1111/j.1939-0025.1982.tb01456.x

5. Cherry, K. (2019, July 17). How attachment theory works. Verywell Mind. Retrieved January 9, 2022, from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-attachment-theory-2795337

6. Colin, V. (1991, June 28). Infant attachment: What we know now. ASPE. https://aspe.hhs.gov/reports/infant-attachment-what-we-know-now-0

7. Leblanc, É., Dégeilh, F., Daneault, V., Beauchamp, M. H., & Bernier, A. (2017). Attachment security in infancy: A preliminary study of prospective links to brain morphometry in late childhood. Frontiers in Psychology, 8. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.02141

8. Main, M. & Solomon, J. (1986) Discovery of a new, insecure-disorganized/disoriented attachment pattern. In T. B. Brazelton & M. Yogman (Eds), Affective development in infancy , pp. 95-124. Norwood, New Jersey: Ablex.

9. Nordahl, D., Rognmo, K., Bohne, A. et al. Adult attachment style and maternal-infant bonding: the indirect path of parenting stress. BMC Psychol 8, 58 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-020-00424-2